The dilemma of diplomacy and integrity
It has occurred to me, since writing my previous post, that
- I would like to encourage reader-participation, and I’m not sure I made that clear; and
- I imagine that I left out of my previous post what is, to my mind, an important consideration, which I will now address.
In thinking about what to say or not to say so as to honor all my potential futures, it is important to me also to be diplomatic. I challenge myself, in my political work, to speak my truth while maintaining alliances and working relationships with those in power.
I have thought at times that this or that political figure, with whom I am allied, could have done better by making a different choice. I’m not always in a position to voice that opinion to him or her directly, or even to his or her staff. Generally, in the interest of being able to work together on future projects, I have avoided offering public critiques at such times, but I have talked with colleagues about how to handle the situation.
When I can, I address my concerns directly to those involved. For example, when an elected official took an unpopular position, I contacted that person’s staff to ask what I could possibly say in defense of that position. When another elected official spoke at a breakfast, and gave what I thought to be a weak answer to an easy question, I approached the speaker afterwards and suggested what I imagined to be stronger and more effective language. These are in keeping with my understanding of Quaker practice, and seem wise in any case, but I’m not sure I’ve got the whole picture.
How do I know when it’s time to bring attention to my concerns at the next level? What is that next level?
Without revealing damaging (or potentially damaging) details, if you are willing, please tell me (here, in the comments) – what dilemmas have you faced? When have you found it challenging to maintain your integrity while also keeping peace with your colleagues and your community? What have you done to resolve this dilemma? What do you do when the results of your first approach don’t meet your needs?
How does all of this relate to humility? Is it ambition and vanity to hope for future political success, or can this be viewed as a desire to maintain peace and support one’s community (or “further its beliefs”)? How do we communicate our vision for the world in such a way that we don’t sabotage our relationships?
What other questions do you have about this dilemma?