Identity - noun and verb
Identity isn’t just who a person is, it’s how that person becomes more like those things with which he or she identifies. Thus, we become more (or less) like the people and/or concepts we admire. Self-admiration, then, is a way to become more like oneself, while mutual admiration makes us more like each other, and self-denial makes one less like those aspects of self that are being denied.
What, or whom, do you admire? With what or with whom do you identify?
June 18th, 2007 at 22:01
I’m not sure I agree on all of that - I think self-denial can actually make you MORE like the thing you dislike, at least if you are denying the disliked thing. As in, I deny I’m angry, and thus get more angry - my denial prevents me from facing and handling the anger.
Or maybe I’m misunderstanding - I may be thinking of “denial of an existing attribute of self” when you may be thinking some other sort of denial.
-Tom
July 16th, 2007 at 14:15
Hey Gavin, just wondering why you’re hosting the karma patrol roster from 2002… strange thing to come up when one searches for my name.
but to not be a total troll, about that post…
I think you oversimplify. In some cases, admiring something does not lessen the space between subject and object: indeed, sometimes people overestimate the gap and give up w/o trying. In the same vein, denying something delays the harmony of self with the desired concept.
I admire strength, purpose, flexibility, effectiveness, moral stands, and compassion. I identify with nerds, the forceful, the effective, the conflicted, and those in motion.
July 31st, 2007 at 13:25
Tom: you point out an important distinction, and I would say both yes and no – I am thinking exactly of the appreciation or denial of existing attributes, but I don’t consider emotions to be “attributes of self” – they are sensations, or attributes of experience, designed to provide information, and when they are denied they get louder (like any good feedback system).
Cameron: doesn’t the admiration narrow the gap anyway? Isn’t that moment of giving up the end of admiration and the beginning of denial? Maybe I’m misunderstanding what you’re saying about denial, but it seems like you’re agreeing here.
And in general: I may have been unclear about the bit on denial – I was thinking more about denying one’s values or desires, which makes one less like oneself, rather than of falsely denying engagement in specific behaviors or ignoring the existence of specific basic attributes of the physical world, which both seem more like self-deception than self-denial.
August 15th, 2007 at 10:16
Um, this is rather abstract. On a re-read, how could anything (e.g. self-admiration) make one MORE like oneself? Unless you meant it makes one more like those things that are being admired in oneself.
It *seems* that we sidle up to attractive characteristics in ourselves and in others but clearly our behavior is determined by broad factors unrelated to intent.
Denial, as a psychological term, does not mean moving away to me, it means covering up. And that will not rid the self of that concept. Acceptance and conscious choice in a different direction would be to move away from something, contrasted with denying that thing, which leaves it intact. Further replies by email please.