Home of the Wanderer

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xTaN2X_25Mg

You remember how I posted a few weeks back about “how my heart moves“? Well… if that was the deep unseen motion of an aquifer, this past week I’ve felt the sudden rushing of spring mountain streams. It’s all very interesting, and delightful, to experience. So I wrote a few poems, and a few more, and a few more, and now have recorded an extended piece, “Springwater,” that’s composed of six haiku I wrote this afternoon. You can go watch it, of course, on YouTube. Enjoy! (more…)

There’s something moving in my heart that feels familiar, moving in a way like it sometimes has in well-established long-term relationships. It’s not the sparkling brilliance of novelty, nor the inner fire of mutual admiration – though I’m getting those too, to some extent – but a deep, calm, heart-joy, the building of which has usually taken a year or more of living together. It is a feeling that I associate with connection and safety.

Valuing connection, I am in a state of wonder. I wonder how this can be, because I’m not in any relationship where I’m ready to start introducing someone around as anything other than a friend, let alone move in together – or even stop dating others. I’m not in a place where I’d bring this or that person over to meet my parents, even if we were all in the same town. (more…)

Robin Mohr’s recent comment brought to mind a question that has been with me in recent years: does anyone wait for the results of a clearness process before deciding that they are getting married? Given the number of happy marriages with which I am acquainted that seem not to have done so, is it necessary? Have we ever, as a Society, had this as a practice?

From what I’ve seen, such discipline would seem to be a thing of legend. And then I consider a couple who called off their wedding plans twice before finally (after ten years, I believe, and on the third attempt) getting clearness to marry. It was hard for them, but I believe they both consider it to have been appropriate to wait. (more…)

“Quaker Dating” by Betsy Blake | QuakerYouth

I would *totally* sign up for a Quaker dating site. As a matter of fact, I have. I’m not convinced yet about http://www.quakersingles.org – they have 65 registered users, and no way to filter search results by age or location. In the meanwhile, I’m using http://www.okcupid.com (where I’m registered as heaventwig).

I’ve been thinking, for a couple of years now, about a Young Adult Friends (YAF) workshop on Quaker romance. I was hoping this blog post might talk about such a thing, or try to address some of the questions that come up for me about what it means to date as a Friend. I guess you did that to some extent in raising the issues of discipline and the desire to pair with another Friend, which both seem relevant to me. (more…)

From a recent email to a dear friend: (more…)

It will be a treat! There are many tales about Granny Sage’s fish stew, and of its effects. If you want to know more, or to find out why I don’t have anyone on whom to test the storied properties of the stew, get in touch. I’ll be glad to tell you in person.  (And no, I don’t mean I’ve lost my committee – they’ll be here.)

It’s funny to watch my blog stats – I get all sorts of interesting data, but none of it covers what really interests me.  Note that while I believe that privacy is, in some sense, at an end (a la Earth by David Brin), and I don’t feel much compunction about having a website that also reads you, I do treasure personal private space, and I respect that of others.  Oddly, the stuff I can learn about my readers gives a somewhat mechanistic picture, without the human details that I cherish, and none of it is particularly revealing of private information. (more…)

I wrote this in a recent email to a friend: (more…)

Lost: the initial version of this post, which was much more narrative in style.
Retained: most of the ideas.
Discarded: hyperlinks.

Lost: $360 worth of electronics, including iJuice power supply, iSight digital camera, iRock FM transmitter, and numerous cables.
Retained: cell phone, computer, clothes, and basically all the other *stuff* I brought with me.
Discarded: grrr.

Lost: girlfriend.
Retained: friendship, dignity, sanity. One of my best friends in the world, and likely to remain so for the forseeable future.
Discarded: Distance and tension.

Regained: strangely, the ability to have a conversation about politics with my father.

Gained: ideas for pursuing my application to the Kennedy School of Governement.

Planned: finish Blackbelt in Taekwon-Do (promotion date: December 19), continue documenting best practices in the Dean campaign, take the GRE, write application essays, grieve, and get my needs met as a single man. Not necessarily in that order.