Home of the Wanderer

Robin Mohr’s recent comment brought to mind a question that has been with me in recent years: does anyone wait for the results of a clearness process before deciding that they are getting married? Given the number of happy marriages with which I am acquainted that seem not to have done so, is it necessary? Have we ever, as a Society, had this as a practice?

From what I’ve seen, such discipline would seem to be a thing of legend. And then I consider a couple who called off their wedding plans twice before finally (after ten years, I believe, and on the third attempt) getting clearness to marry. It was hard for them, but I believe they both consider it to have been appropriate to wait. (more…)

We talk about breaking up, and for a long time it has seemed to me that most relationships end rather with a breakdown. Last year, I began to see that such separations could be breakthrough moments – in the sense with which we might speak of shattering the ice atop a frozen lake, and climbing out; or of attaining a new level of energy in life – and that those sorts of breakthroughs can properly be identified as break-ups. Recently, for the first time ever, I was in the position of having recognized a breakdown and insisted on a break-up, and this experience has brought a wealth of new perspective. I don’t recommend that anyone end a relationship solely for the sake of the insight, but rather, learn with me. (more…)

Lost: the initial version of this post, which was much more narrative in style.
Retained: most of the ideas.
Discarded: hyperlinks.

Lost: $360 worth of electronics, including iJuice power supply, iSight digital camera, iRock FM transmitter, and numerous cables.
Retained: cell phone, computer, clothes, and basically all the other *stuff* I brought with me.
Discarded: grrr.

Lost: girlfriend.
Retained: friendship, dignity, sanity. One of my best friends in the world, and likely to remain so for the forseeable future.
Discarded: Distance and tension.

Regained: strangely, the ability to have a conversation about politics with my father.

Gained: ideas for pursuing my application to the Kennedy School of Governement.

Planned: finish Blackbelt in Taekwon-Do (promotion date: December 19), continue documenting best practices in the Dean campaign, take the GRE, write application essays, grieve, and get my needs met as a single man. Not necessarily in that order.