Home of the Wanderer

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xTaN2X_25Mg

You remember how I posted a few weeks back about “how my heart moves“? Well… if that was the deep unseen motion of an aquifer, this past week I’ve felt the sudden rushing of spring mountain streams. It’s all very interesting, and delightful, to experience. So I wrote a few poems, and a few more, and a few more, and now have recorded an extended piece, “Springwater,” that’s composed of six haiku I wrote this afternoon. You can go watch it, of course, on YouTube. Enjoy! (more…)

Robin Mohr’s recent comment brought to mind a question that has been with me in recent years: does anyone wait for the results of a clearness process before deciding that they are getting married? Given the number of happy marriages with which I am acquainted that seem not to have done so, is it necessary? Have we ever, as a Society, had this as a practice?

From what I’ve seen, such discipline would seem to be a thing of legend. And then I consider a couple who called off their wedding plans twice before finally (after ten years, I believe, and on the third attempt) getting clearness to marry. It was hard for them, but I believe they both consider it to have been appropriate to wait. (more…)

A little at a time.

A memory comes to mind, of standing in my father’s office doorway, looking in, and watching him work. He sat there at his desk, framed by the window beyond. I could only see the sky, and sunlight pouring in, but he probably could see the barn, the garden, the pond, and the hayfields. (more…)

My extended family is of moderate size – my mom has three siblings, all married, and through them I have five cousins; my mother’s mother is still living, as are four or five of my blood-related great-aunts and great-uncles on that side (as well as their spouses), and through them I have probably another dozen cousins, most of whom I rarely see.  My father has four brothers, and through them I have three cousins; both of his parents have died in the past six years, and I think their siblings have passed on as well.  I’m not as aware of most of my distant cousins on that side of my family, though I may have an opportunity to meet more of them soon.  When I spend holidays with my family, (more…)

I’ve wondered about this question - what sort of risks and explorations count as adventures? While I enjoy exploring the outdoors, I’m careful when doing so to follow standard safety precautions. I’m unlikely ever to wander off into the woods without so much as a compass. The archaic form of the word has connotations of financial risk, but (more…)

We talk about breaking up, and for a long time it has seemed to me that most relationships end rather with a breakdown. Last year, I began to see that such separations could be breakthrough moments – in the sense with which we might speak of shattering the ice atop a frozen lake, and climbing out; or of attaining a new level of energy in life – and that those sorts of breakthroughs can properly be identified as break-ups. Recently, for the first time ever, I was in the position of having recognized a breakdown and insisted on a break-up, and this experience has brought a wealth of new perspective. I don’t recommend that anyone end a relationship solely for the sake of the insight, but rather, learn with me. (more…)

It has occurred to me, since writing my previous post, that

• I would like to encourage reader-participation, and I’m not sure I made that clear; and
• I imagine that I left out of my previous post what is, to my mind, an important consideration, which I will now address.

In thinking about what to say or not to say so as to honor all my potential futures, it is important to me also to be diplomatic. I challenge myself, in my political work, to speak my truth while maintaining alliances and working relationships with those in power.

I have thought at times that this or that political figure, with whom I am allied, could have done better by making a different choice. I’m not always in a position to voice that opinion to him or her directly, or even to his or her staff. Generally, in the interest of being able to work together on future projects, I have avoided offering public critiques at such times, but I have talked with colleagues about how to handle the situation.

When I can, I address my concerns directly to those involved. For example, when an elected official took an unpopular position, I contacted that person’s staff to ask what I could possibly say in defense of that position. When another elected official spoke at a breakfast, and gave what I thought to be a weak answer to an easy question, I approached the speaker afterwards and suggested what I imagined to be stronger and more effective language. These are in keeping with my understanding of Quaker practice, and seem wise in any case, but I’m not sure I’ve got the whole picture.

How do I know when it’s time to bring attention to my concerns at the next level? What is that next level?

Without revealing damaging (or potentially damaging) details, if you are willing, please tell me (here, in the comments) – what dilemmas have you faced? When have you found it challenging to maintain your integrity while also keeping peace with your colleagues and your community? What have you done to resolve this dilemma? What do you do when the results of your first approach don’t meet your needs?

How does all of this relate to humility? Is it ambition and vanity to hope for future political success, or can this be viewed as a desire to maintain peace and support one’s community (or “further its beliefs”)? How do we communicate our vision for the world in such a way that we don’t sabotage our relationships?

What other questions do you have about this dilemma?

All my learning is from relationships - my relationship with myself, the Universe, my family and friends, my romantic partners, and my colleagues.

Even just from my romantic relationships, to which I assume you most meant to refer, I have learned more than can be put forth in 1k characters.

Among the things I’ve learned are these: (more…)